Long Long Time

Now that "The Chapel" is done, I've been turning my attention to the final song of the set: "Long Long Time".  This one is very appropriately named.  I originally wrote it around 18-20 years ago, when Jodi and I were newly married, or at least moreso than we are now.  It was intended to be a part of a play about the Prodigal Son.

So, now I'm recording it (finally), and I'm reworking it.  Help me out!  Take a look at these lyrics and tell me (use the comments section below):

1. What is the strongest line?
2. What is the weakest line?
3. What is the overall message of the song?

Thanks!

+++++


Long Long Time

By Mark Hansen


It’s been a long long time since I felt this way
It’s been a long long time since I knelt to pray
It’s been a long long day and a long long way back home

It’s been a long hard road I’ve been walking down
It’s been a long hard fight just to turn around
It’s been a long long way but I’m finally bound for home

Chorus:
A long long time
A long long time
A long long day and a long long way back home

Bridge
As I walk away the miles
I wanna see my father’s smile
But fair is fair and justice grim
I will be a servant to him

It was a long time ago that I left my home
It was along the road that I found my own
It was a long row to hoe, but I’m finally going home

Chorus:

Bridge 2
I wanna see my father’s eyes
I wanna hear his joyful cries
How sweet to feel, how sweet to live
To hear him say, son I forgive

It’s been a long long time since I felt this way
It’s been a long long time since I knelt to pray
It’s been a long long day and a long long way back home

Chorus:




Come back often to hear about new songs and shows. Mark also has other sites and blogs, including his Dutch Oven blog: Mark's Black Pot and his LDS pop culture blog: MoBoy blog.

Mark's Other Blog Posts: A Spiritual Epiphany, Dutch Oven Turkey 

The Chapel

Listen and download the song, free, here.

I wrote this one a long time ago, one winter night on my way home from work.  The words and the melody started forming in my head, and I kept pulling over to type each idea into my PDA.  Finally, I realized that I would just have to stop and do it all, so I pulled off the main road, and into a parking lot.  I sat under a big light and wrote out the rest of the first draft. 

Satisfied, I restarted my engine, and started to pull out.  It was then that I noticed that I was in an LDS church parking lot.  I chuckled at the “lucky” irony...

Then, years later, I started working on recording this song.  The album “The Third Time” needed an acoustic number, so I chose this one.  In the middle of the recording process, they divided and reorganized our ward.  We suddenly found ourselves in among strangers again.  The song reminded me that we’re really not strangers at all. 

Eph. 2: 19 


The Chapel
Written, produced, and performed by Mark Hansen

Susan's been married just under a year
They like the pews up front, so they can hear
She's had a rough time and her youth was unclear
Now she's fighting to get past her mistakes and her fear

With eyes that neither condemn nor condone
He loves her and raises her child as his own

Chorus
In every city the chapel's the same
Like the people who step up and ask me my name
And the words that they say and the feelings I've known
I guess that's why it feels like home
That's why it feels like home

Tommy, he always sits quiet in back
It's been a long, long time, and he's been off track
He's just been finding all the things that he lacked
His wife is his strength, but even she almost cracked

Though the cravings are sometimes too hard to forget
It's been six months since his last cigarette

Chorus

John can  count the days by the books that he's read
He's long and thinning like the hairs on his head
He always questions everything that is said
But he'll lend you an ear and bring a fresh loaf of bread

Surrounded by people who've been through it all
Somehow my struggles seem to be very small

Chorus

Jason Jones   Drums




Come back often to hear about new songs and shows. Mark also has other sites and blogs, including his Dutch Oven blog: Mark's Black Pot and his LDS pop culture blog: MoBoy blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post, name post,

Revising Tenth and Main

Here’s why it’s good to have songwriter friends, that can read things over and give you advice.  I sent a copy of my new lyrics to the LDSMusicians email group, along with some questions, and Julie wrote me back.  She’s a great writer, and almost always spot on in her critiques.  Plus, she’s learned how to tell her criticisms in ways that don’t hurt feelings!  Very important!

She said:

“Hey Mark,

“I really like what you've got here. Wish I could here the music to go with it. Since you have the chorus right off, which can be so cool, I get the feeling this is at least a mid-tempo song. Since you have your first four lines of the first verse entirely of the same rhyme ending reading it feels a little forced, but the music obviously would add all the difference and soften that. I really like the line "Each bite tasted so much richer than the last one I'd buy". Good visual there. Your pre-chorus lines of verse two "I don't remember why I felt so full so long ago. I need to find the place where I felt what I needed to know" work okay, but (just my opinion here) could be stronger visually and a bit more powerful to me, especially since it's the lead into your second chorus and I'm sure comes with a big build. Way cool, let us here it as soon as you can.

“Julie

“PS, you are on the verge of country here which means it would have to be country rock, because you are Mark Hansen, and turn the verses into a story if you dare to go there.”

I think she’s right in a lot of her comments.  I, personally, kinda like my rhyme scheme, so, for now, I’m not changing that.  However, I knew those lines at the end of the climbs were weak to begin with.  I could tell that even as I wrote them.  So, when she pointed that out, I knew they needed to be changed. 

There were a few other minor tweaks that I put in as I was practicing up at the hospital the other day.  Here’s the newest, most current version:




Tenth and Main

By Mark Hansen
7/27/2010

Intro Chorus
There used to be a church at the corner of tenth and main
When I was a kid, I used to go there again and again
I went to find some hope, a break from the fear and pain
I remember the love at the corner of tenth and main


Verse 1

The city streets are alive with the breath of commotion
They give me whatever I want, when I have the notion
They try to fill my empty soul with coins and potions
But mostly they just keep me spinning around in motion

I'm looking for the place where I stood so long ago
I need to find the place that I thought I had outgrown

Chorus:

I need to find the church at the corner of tenth and main
When I was a kid, I used to go there again and again
I need to find some hope here at the corner of fear and pain
I remember the love at the corner of tenth and main


Verse 2:

There was so much out in the great big world to buy
Each bite tasted so much richer than the last one I'd tried
I wanted to know them all and to make them mine
The emptiness that haunts me now is keeping me crying

I don't remember why I felt so full so long ago
I need to find the place where where my cup used to overflow

Chorus

Instrumental verse

I'm looking for the place where I stood so long ago
I know I turned and walked away from it, but even so...

Chorus
Can you help me find the church at the corner of tenth and main
When I was a kid, I used to go there again and again
Help me find some hope here at the corner of fear and pain
I remember the love at the corner of tenth and main


I’m going to throw this open to you folks as well.  As you read this, do you have any suggestions or ideas?  Here are some questions you can answer that will help me refine it even more:

• What’s the main point/message of the song?  Can you sum up the song in one short statement?
• What’s the strongest line?
• What’s the weakest line?
• What do you like best about the song?
• What do you like least about the song?

Just pop your ideas into the comments box below.  If this works out, I might do this with all of the tunes I write!




Come back often to hear about new songs and shows. Mark also has other sites and blogs, including his Dutch Oven blog: Mark's Black Pot and his LDS pop culture blog: MoBoy blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: Dutch Oven Swirled Bread Redux, New LDS Church Members Website, name post,