FAWM #6 - Been There Done That

I'm going to just start with the lyrics, then tell the story:

Been There Done That
By Mark Hansen
2/23/2011

I see myself again
Back where I started in
Looking out the window at the bright blue sky

I don’t like to see me there
With a dark and cloudy stare
I want to help but I don’t know what to try

The storm on the inside’s full of hopes and fears
The rain on the window’s dripping down like tears

Chorus
Been there done that
Been there done that
Don’t know why
Keep going back

Out on the sidewalk here
The sun is shining clear
I wish I’d come out where it’s warm and dry

I smile and wave and say
Hey, Mark, come out and play
But something holds me in and I don’t know why

I know that I’ve been out on sunny days
But I always end up inside, back in the rain

Chorus

I want to see me change
I watch me and it’s strange
I don’t know what else to do or what else to try

I hate to see the pain
To watch me in the rain
I want me to come out and see the sky

But soon I know that I’ll go up and step to the door
I’ll push it open, step inside and cross the floor, ‘cause I’ve..

Chorus
...Been there done that
Been there done that
Don’t know why
Keep coming back


This one speaks to the cyclic nature of depression.  It's weird, and there are a lot of dichotomies.  When I get this down, I feel like I'm two people:  One who is happy and normal and wondering why I'm moping so much when it's obviously much better to be happy and normal.  And the other who is all mopey and whiney and wishing it would stop, but not doing anything to fix it.

And even though the happy person wins out for a while, it always seems that I end up back in the cloudy, rainy, stormy sadness.  And I don't know why I keep coming back, when there's so much to enjoy in life.





Come back often to hear about new songs and shows. Mark also has other sites and blogs, including his Dutch Oven blog: Mark's Black Pot and his LDS pop culture blog: MoBoy blog.